:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize