is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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