i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
there is puke in my bra ... again
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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