playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
