You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
