Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
