I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
