it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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