don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
