is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
