We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize