you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
