I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
