i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
