You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
