Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
