i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
