Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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