This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
