Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So many bounce houses so little time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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