i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
