Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
