remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize