I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.