evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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