I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
