there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
