I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
