i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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