I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
