you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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