I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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