You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i think i just lost a toe
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
