I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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