Just fell off a train. Bad.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
