you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
