I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
