At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
