I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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