Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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