If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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