your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
