No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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