i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
