She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
