if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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