Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
