She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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