Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
