Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
