Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
