You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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