Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
