But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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