it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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