i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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