Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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