don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
