I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
