Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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