my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
